Infrastructure Bill Includes Capitol Building Expansion To Hold All The Pfizer Lobbyists
Politics

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senate leaders revealed today that Biden's "Build Back Better" infrastructure plan will include $86 Billion for a brand-new Capitol Building construction project. The Capitol will be expanded to hold 100 Senators, 435 Representatives, and 1,423 Pfizer lobbyists. 

"Better. Build blur, uh, der der trunalimunumaprzure," said Biden in a forceful speech defending the plan. "Derp rug abba loogey." 

A hand then appeared from behind a curtain and injected Biden with some sort of medication, causing Biden to come to his senses.

"These Pfizer people, they're good folks, folks! They know what they're doing! We're just gonna let them run the country for a while, I think. More time for me to watch Murder She Wrote on the television box!"

Officials confirmed that to save time, the Biden administration plans to merge all regulatory agencies with Pfizer. They also confirmed that troops will arrive at your house tonight to administer your booster shot. Cool! 


In our latest video, watch as two kids try to choose a Halloween costume that doesn't offend anyone:

For more videos, subscribe to our Youtube channel today!
There are 103 comments on this article.

You must become a premium subscriber or login to view or post comments on this article.