PALO ALTO, CA — According to sources, a local impoverished man only has two computer monitors on his desk in his home office.
Harold Gates, a middle-aged entrepreneur with a wife and two children, is living the American dream, that is, except for how many computer monitors he has.
"I can keep Slack open on this monitor while I work on my spreadsheets over here," said the lowly pauper who can't even leave The Lord of the Rings Online running all day on a third monitor while he works on the other two.
"Sadly, this kind of grinding poverty is not uncommon after several years of a stagnant economy," said one economist while pulling up several studies on his third monitor. "It's hard to imagine, but there are still many Americans making do with merely one screen."
"I don't know how these people are even surviving."
Gates' neighbors were reportedly horrified to learn he only had two monitors. "We need to help this poor man," said Susan Brown, who lives next door. "We had no idea someone in need was living so close to us."
A local GoFundMe has been set up to get Gates a new monitor.
At publishing time, Gates was confident he would one day get a third monitor so that he could start wishing he had a fourth.
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