EL MONTE, CA - "I'm a little worried about what my son is learning school," said a dangerous domestic terrorist at a school board meeting earlier today.
The radical insurrectionist went on to say that "teaching kids to be racist and all about graphic depictions of sex seems a little problematic to me," confirming fears that she has been radicalized by fanatical right-wingers.
She was quickly added to the FBI Most Wanted list after expressing her concern that her children were being influenced by Marxist teachings and radical sex instruction by crazed left-wing nutjobs. Experts say she may be part of a growing number of deranged extremists who violently question the government's ownership of their children by attending the "open comments" portion of a school board meeting.
At publishing time, she had confirmed her belief that parents should be the number-one influence on a child's mind and that the government does not own her children, causing FBI agents to gun her down on the spot, saving us all.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
