WASHINGTON, D.C. — Ilhan Omar was arrested by Capitol Police at an abortion rally yesterday. According to sources, she has used her prison phone call to contact both her husband and her brother.
"Hey Ahmed! Come bail me out, brother!" said Omar to her husband. "They got me locked up in D.C. jail with invisible handcuffs just because of my bravery at the Supreme Court protest! How long will it take you to get here?"
Sources close to the couple say Ahmed is distraught that his wife has been arrested, but is also laughing at how his sister keeps getting herself into trouble. "Ha ha! Ilhan you dork! Got yourself arrested again, huh?" Ahmed laughed before breaking down in sobs. "I'm on my way to get you out, my love!"
AP photographers are reportedly on site, ready to capture the powerful moment the police unlock Omar's invisible jail cell after her husband-brother Ahmed bails her out with invisible money to await her invisible trial.
At publishing time, Omar's husband showed up to post bail but her brother mysteriously disappeared.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
