Ignorant Kids Have No Idea How Cool Dad Is

Family · Apr 24, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
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SLIDELL, LA — According to sources, the children of local father Jaxon Holt are completely ignorant of how cool their dad is.

Holt, who has a steady job working in business insurance and drives a Honda Fit, loves his children dearly and even picks them up from school on occasion. Yet they reportedly have no idea how cool that is.

"I don't know how I can convince them," he said as he built yet another scale model of the HMS Titanic. "I'm the coolest guy I know. Did you know that when the Titanic sank it actually went down with a slight list to starboard? I do."

Despite how cool Holt is, his kids routinely roll their eyes at their dad for doing cool things like answering obscure movie trivia or wearing cargo shorts.

"I love my dad, but he's a total nerd," said Billy Holt, age 15, despite the fact their father has read every book ever written by Clive Cussler. "Not cool at all."

At publishing time, Jaxon Holt taught his kids how to change the oil in their cars but they still don't think he's cool for some reason.


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