'I Will Fix Things If You Vote Me Into Office,' Says Woman Currently In Office
Politics · Aug 12, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The presidential race reached a new level of intensity this week, as the woman who is currently in office and has been serving in the second most powerful position in the world vowed to fix things if people vote her into office.

The bold pledge was made on the campaign trail as Vice President Kamala Harris, who has been an integral part of the Biden administration since it took power in January 2021, promised to solve the problems Americans are facing if they vote to elect her.

"It's time for someone in a position of power to fix things," Harris said to her supporters who voted her into a position of power four years ago. "Whoever is in charge of this country has clearly done a terrible job. It's time to send someone to Washington, D.C. to solve these issues. If you elect me, I will make it my mission to fix all these things I've had the power to fix since 2021."

With Biden and Harris at the helm, the U.S. has seen a sharp economic decline, rising inflation, waves of illegal immigration into the country, and increased tensions around the globe. Harris urged voters to elect her so that she could find solutions to the things that have been going on since she was elected. "There is only one way to stop the things that are destroying this country," Harris said. "And that's by electing the person who has been overseeing the destruction of this country.

At publishing time, the Harris campaign released a statement telling voters that restoring the peace and prosperity of the Trump administration could only be accomplished by keeping Trump out of office.


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