UNKNOWN LOCATION - Hunter Biden was really worried after hearing his dad was going to begin cracking down on certain drugs. 

But the son of the president breathed a sigh of relief after learning it was just menthol cigarettes that his dad was going to start cracking down on.

"He's cracking down on what!?" he said as aides told him about the ban. "OH! Menthol! I thought you said meth. I was really worried there for a second. If he were to crack down on crack, meth, boom, bang, pow, heroin, blue sky, shrooms, edibles, or any of hundreds of other types of drugs, I'd be in big trouble. Allegedly, of course."

"Uh, anyway, yes -- I fully support my father's crackdown on menthol cigarettes. Very bad for your health."

At publishing time, Biden had once again grown worried after hearing his dad had also cracked down on something else, but it turned out to just be flavored cigars and not having shady business dealings with Ukraine and China.