U.S. — According to sources, Hunter Biden's plea deal fell through in court today after his bribery check to the judge bounced due to insufficient funds. "We are disappointed with the judge's decision, but we are confident things will be made right once another transfer from Ukraine clears in one of Hunter's offshore accounts," said Biden's legal team. "This is just a minor hiccup." At publishing time, anonymous sources had confirmed that this afternoon's "coke and hookers plea deal celebration" had become a "coke and hookers strategy session."
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
