CHICAGO, IL — Amid the excitement of attendees and volatility of protesters outside, Hunter Biden was seen desperately trying to offload his leftover painting inventory at the Democratic National Convention.
The son of the sitting U.S. president and one-time power player in the influence-peddling arena has experienced a sharp decline in the sale of his artwork in recent months following his father's decision to abandon his bid for re-election, leaving Hunter with overstocked inventory.
"Step right up, people! Nice paintings for sale!" Hunter was heard shouting to passersby at the DNC. "Buy a painting and get some favors done for you on the side! Special DNC prices this week! Everything must go! Support an artist and gain some influence on the global stage! Check out these brush strokes! Come on, folks, I've got way too many of these things now."
Despite Hunter wielding considerable influence for several years, attendees at the DNC showed little interest in his offerings, even at reduced prices. "Nah, no thanks," said one delegate. "I don't need any more paintings. It's not like you have much pull these days, anyway."
Hunter expressed disappointment and hoped he could unload at least a few paintings before the end of the convention later in the week. "This is my last chance," he said. "If I don't sell everything this week, I'll have to just store all this artwork in my dad's garage, somewhere next to the classified documents."
At publishing time, Hunter had reportedly sweetened the deal to include one free night out with a Ukrainian hooker with the purchase of each painting.
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