Politics
Here Are The 8 Most Electrifying Moments From Trump's CPAC Speech

Donald Trump spoke at CPAC in Florida this weekend and the whole world cheered as Trump gloriously appeared in the news cycle for a few short hours.

As always, the genius Trump gave a speech for the ages. In a speech with so many iconic moments, it's hard to pick one. Here are eight of the best moments from Trump's speech. 

When Trump flew onto the stage with an invisible wire as pyrotechnics went off: The entire crowd was in awe, convinced they were watching a supernatural event.

When Trump pulled Jim Acosta up on stage and gave him a swirly: There was a scandal after Alyssa Milano found that Hyatt Hotels had supplied a special stage-toilet for the stunt.

When Trump stood up to cancel culture by chugging a can of GOYA beans: The crowd's chants of "USA! USA!" gave way to "CHUG! CHUG! CHUG!"

The epic reading of 6 weeks' worth of Tweets Trump never got to send: He did this for the first 45 minutes of his speech.

Revealing he's been working out: Trump showed off a new toned body from 6 weeks of increased golf activity.

Trump's announcement that he has grown an army of Uruk-Hai warriors in spawning pits beneath Trump Tower: Get ready for a red wave!

Firing $2,000 checks into the audience with a cannon: Trump proved he's better than Sleepy Joe at keeping campaign promises with a GIANT MONEY CANNON!

When Trump invited weeping Biden voters to come forward and repent: Thousands of liberals were consumed with guilt after being deceived by Sleepy Joe. As the soft piano chords of a Lee Greenwood song played, many came forward to surrender their vote to Trump. 

Unfortunately, enthusiasm was cut short after Biden won the CPAC straw-poll by 138,000 votes.  

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