WASHINGTON, D.C. — In response to her testy interview last night, presidential candidate Kamala Harris has stepped forward to accuse Fox News of journalistic malpractice, claiming that the media company never informed her the interview would include questions.
According to Harris, the interview constituted an ambush unlike any she has ever faced in her legal or political career.
"Holistically speaking, me and my team, we were holistically not informed that this interview would include questions," Harris said as several journalists from ABC gave her a back massage and worked on editing her next interview. "It's absolutely terrible. Even CNN at least gave us the questions holistically in advance. These chauvinist pigs at Fox are completely taking advantage of a very strong, competent, fragile woman of color. Holistically disgraceful!"
While several aides have reportedly tried to calm Kamala down with offerings of Jack Daniels and Pinot Grigio, she has remained defiant.
"Joe never had to do anything like this! I shouldn't either!" Kamala shouted at Gayle Quare, a purple-haired intern. "Where's my shot glass??"
At publishing time, Kamala had demanded that the media atone for their heinous deed by applying some heat to Donald Trump instead of always picking on her like they do all the time.
Kamala Harris is out of a job, but luckily we've got ten great career options just for her.
