GRANDVIEW, MO — A local father who spent the entire day failing to settle a dispute between his toddlers later expressed supreme confidence on social media that he had the entire Israel-Iran conflict solved.
Jason Strand told everyone he knew (and everyone he didn't know) online that the Middle East situation was very simple, despite the fact that he had failed miserably to help his 4-year-old and 2-year-old children reach a peaceful resolution to their heated argument over a toy.
"It's actually a pretty simple problem to fix," Strand posted online. "While there are people on both sides of the argument focused on the wrong things, I have the best solution all mapped out in my head. I came up with it earlier today while I was trying to separate my kids and keep them from coming to blows over a Star Wars action figure. I couldn't seem to calm them down at all, but I know for sure that I have enough knowledge about this Israel-Iran stuff to get it all squared away without any problem."
Strand's friends remained unconvinced that he had the Middle East conflict all figured out. "He can't even figure out how to make peace between two toddlers," said one acquaintance. "If he can't get two small children to come to a ceasefire, what makes him think he's smart enough to come up with a solution to one of the oldest conflicts in human history?"
At publishing time, Strand had left the living room of his home where his children were screaming at each other so he could post his latest proposal that would create lasting peace in the Middle East.
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