Getting Out Of Hand? Newsom Orders Aide To Shoot Off His Ear

Politics · Aug 20, 2025 · BabylonBee.com
Image for article: Getting Out Of Hand? Newsom Orders Aide To Shoot Off His Ear

SACRAMENTO, CA — Sources close to Gavin Newsom say that the governor's Trump imitations may be getting a little out of hand after Newsom ordered an aide to shoot off part of his ear.

Longtime Newsom aide Jackson Price felt things were starting to get weird after the governor handed him a rifle and asked him to aim for his earlobe.

"It's getting a little bizarre now," said Price. "It was kind of a funny joke when Newsom started posting in all caps. We all laughed off the new tan and sudden McDonald's obsession. But then he asked me to go with him to a rally, get up on this slightly sloped roof, and literally shoot him in the ear with a high-powered rifle. I feel like he might be taking it a bit too far."

Gavin Newsom categorically denied any imitation of Donald Trump.

"That's a YUGE lie. YUGE," said Newsom, waving his hands. "That's only something losers and haters would say, believe me, everyone says so. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to go start filming on my original new show 'The Trainee', where I will debut my signature catchphrase 'Your employment has been terminated'. It's going to be so tremendous."

At publishing time, Newsom had announced that he had legally changed his name to Donald J. Trump.


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