BETHESDA, MD—President Trump really is playing 11D Settlers of Catan while the rest of us are playing 2D Tiddlywinks.
Wanting the nation to begin questioning the effectiveness of masks at stopping the spread of coronavirus, Trump put on a mask during a visit to a medical center, causing the media to investigate whether or not masks really work. Liberals everywhere were seen burning their masks and running around licking doorknobs to own Trump.
"Yes, masks seem to be effective at first blush, but do they really work?" said a CNN anchor. "The bad orange man is wearing a mask, so we have to wonder: do they really stop the coronavirus? What is it that he is hiding behind that sinister disguise?"
The media finally changed its tune from "Wear the d*mn mask" to "Well, let's look at the pros and cons of mask wearing," with the 4D chess expert President Trump having forced them to do their job of investigative reporting rather than parroting left-wing and government talking points.
"I was getting really annoyed with all the 'wear the mask' talk, so I decided to put one on so they'd come out against them," Trump said at a press conference. "I played the media like a fiddle. Well, I've never played a fiddle, but I was always told I had beautiful hands that would be perfect for the fiddle. I bet I'd be tremendous at the fiddle."
Just to have fun, Trump took off the mask in the middle of the press conference and then put it back on several times, causing the media to change their opinion on mask wearing over 17 times in three minutes.