NAPERVILLE, IL — Sources confirmed on Wednesday that a local game group's night of playing classic RISK had now entered its fourth week.
What began as a joyful bit of nostalgia has now become a critical situation as five men have not been seen by family, friends, or employers for over 21 consecutive days. Their board game simulating a global war with 19th century Napoleonic war technology has raged on for 30,240 minutes, with insiders saying it was still going strong.
"We're entering week four," said the host, Ben, to the assembled witnesses. "The lines have been pretty static for the past week, but any day now, we expect a breakthrough that will end this bitter conflict."
"Yeah, Eddie cheesed the game again, going straight for Fortress Australia," whined Stan, who requested to be referred to by his official title of "Lord of the Americas and Kamchatka." "Each of us has done a pretty good job of securing continents on our turns to get the troop bonuses we need to somehow stay alive, but unfortunately it all depends on the roll of the dice and the card bonuses."
Experts warned that the war could go on indefinitely, considering the facts on the ground that the leaders seem evenly matched for strategic and tactical prowess and that Ben had previously set up an appropriate supply line of Mountain Dew and Doritos to be dropped off at least once a day unless he cancels his recurring order with Amazon Prime.
At publishing time, hope of a resolution arose after the King of Fortress Australia had launched another invasion into Asia, causing everyone to make the obligatory joke from The Princess Bride about how someone should never start a land war in Asia.
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