GRAIN VALLEY, MO — The 2026 NFL season is kicking off this week, and as millions of fans set their rosters and starting lineups for the first week, one man who had completely forgotten about last night's fantasy football draft was projected to win the championship handily.
Despite not even bothering to show up for the first half of the draft, Scotty Moon's fantasy football roster was predicted by experts to easily win the league, with the outside potential that it would successfully complete a perfect season while trouncing everyone else's meticulously built teams.
"He does this every year," said league admin Jonathan Hughes. "He's not even that big of a football fan. I mean, his favorite team is the Dallas Cowboys. That should tell you all you need to know. But every fall, he accidentally ends up with a juggernaut of a fantasy team. I guess I'll prepare myself for another season of looking up at him in the standings."
Moon admitted that he has a habit of stumbling backwards into assembling impossibly dominant fantasy football teams. "Yeah, it's true," he said. "Most of the time, I don't even know what day we're doing the draft. Someone will usually text me and say, ‘Hey, are you still doing the draft?' and I'll log on about halfway through. By then, the computer has automatically drafted half of my players. It always seems to work out, though. I look forward to winning another championship in a few months."
At publishing time, Moon's team had faced an unexpected challenge from a team drafted by someone's wife who chose players based on how cute their uniforms were.
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