LOS ANGELES, CA—Fox has unveiled a new entry in the Night at the Museum series: Night at the Museum: Revenge of the Statues. The film will center around angry statues emerging from dumpsters and rivers where Antifa rioters threw them in order to destroy the outraged protesters.
Christopher Columbus, Teddy Roosevelt, and George Washington will stalk the frightened rioters one by one.
"This summer, the statues are back, and this time, it's personal," says the movie voice guy in the trailer released by Fox today. "No more Mr. Nice Grant."
"You won't take them for granite anymore."
The trailer then shows a screaming Antifa protester running for his life down a dark alley, Teddy Roosevelt in hot pursuit on his horse.
"I speak softly but I carry a big stick!" he shouts as he charges in with a big stick to give the rioter a whoopin'.
Breaking: PayPal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered PayPal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added PayPal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.