SAN FERNANDO, CA — The Gomez family is back on the market for a new church after learning their home church was full of sinners.
"At first we loved our church, but then we ran into some problems," said James Gomez. "It turned out there were people going there who did bad stuff and sinned sometimes. It rubbed us the wrong way, so we felt it would be best to find a new group of people to worship with."
"Also, the music felt a tiny bit ‘off.'"
According to sources, the Gomez family previously attended New Gilead Church, which appeared charming at first. Unfortunately, after they got to know some other members they saw how sinful they were.
"People would confess how they struggled with lying or how they needed help with lust or, worse, come late to services," said Sheila Gomez. "Sometimes there was conflict between people. Ugh, it was awkward and made us feel weird. It didn't feel very holy to me."
James and Sheila have a daughter together who reportedly disagreed with her parent's decision. "I have friends there! Where are we going?" she was heard asking one day as the family suddenly left services as the worship leader made the grave sin of not singing in perfect pitch.
"I hope that someday we find a church up to our standards," Mr. Gomez said. "Otherwise we may have to worship at home in our own way and — say, that's not a bad idea."
At publishing time, the Gomez family had found a new church and left it a few weeks later, as there were sinners there too.
Brynnleigh is on a mission to stop America from becoming… well, America.
