BERKELEY, CA — Speaking from the heart of higher learning at UC Berkeley, sociology experts have issued formal guidelines that Hispanic individuals should always be called the gender-neutral term "latine" if you want to get punched right in the face.
The term "latine" has gained popularity in recent weeks thanks in part to an article in Axios in which the author reportedly made up the term as an elaborate prank.
"Latinx is an outdated term, as everyone was making fun of us and giving us wedgies for using it," said Gender-Ethnic Studies Professor Edwina Skuzz, while holding a bag of frozen peas on her swollen eye socket. "Latine is the new official term for persons of Hispanic origin that will help you avoid offensive gendered language."
"Unfortunately, it will not help you avoid getting punched in the face."
"I dare you to call me 'Latine' one more time," said José Gonzales, a farmer in Ranco Encantada, as he pulled up his sleeves and prepared to punch our reporter in the face.
Critics are reportedly calling on the Latine people to "calm down," imploring them that violence is not the answer.
At publishing time, experts clarified that Leftists should probably stop talking to Hispanics altogether.
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