Excitement Builds For First Olympic Games Held In Muslim Country
World · Jul 8, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

PARIS — With the world's top athletes gathering in Paris in the coming weeks, excitement among media and spectators alike continued to build around the globe for the first Olympic Games to be held in a Muslim country.

While the city of Paris had previously hosted the Olympic Games in 1900 and 1924, this year's Games of the XXXIII Olympiad will mark the historic first time that the storied athletic contests took place in an Islamic nation.

"We couldn't be more excited and also terrified," said International Olympic Committee President Thomas Bach. "This is a tremendous milestone for the Olympic Games, and we are honored to have them taking place in a Muslim country for the very first time. The beautiful architecture, the vibrant culture, the constant threat of violent knife attacks and mass murder… it all makes for a wonderful experience here."

The best athletes in the summer events from nations around the world also expressed eagerness to participate in the historic occasion. "It really is special," said Swedish female pole vaulter Hjördis Hjertsson. "I've been here in Paris for three days so far and I haven't been assaulted. Hopefully, I can survive until I can compete in my event. Fingers crossed!"

With just over two weeks until the opening ceremonies, authorities reported only eight mass stabbings, 30 assaults on Jews and Christians, and 264 sexual assaults in the last month leading up to the games.

At publishing time, the IOC was preparing to officially inform the athletes that all females would be required to compete in burqas.

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