184.108.40.206:56895—An enlightened, freethinking NPC on a lightly modded Minecraft server announced Monday that he denies the existence of Notch and the team at Mojang, explaining that he doesn’t see any evidence of design in the clearly designed game world around him.
“My current working theory is that this digital landscape spontaneously created itself around 20 billion years ago, with no input from any kind of magic game designer in the sky,” he told a gathering of villagers in a coffee shop. “The evidence of order and tightly designed game mechanisms are merely random, chaotic patterns. Your lives are all meaningless.”
When other NPCs disagreed, pointing out that the carefully coded game design was powerful evidence that a higher intelligence named Notch created in 2009, the anti-designer activist was ready with an answer.
“If this ‘Notch’ is real, why doesn’t he just reveal himself? The idea of a ‘creator’ is simply wishful thinking for weak-minded people who can’t come to terms with the fact that we are alone on this server,” he added. “If we could just abandon the shackles of that Dark Ages way of thinking, just think how much progress we could make.”
At publishing time, the anti-designer NPC had begun calling anyone who confronted him with the clear evidence of design all around him as a “science denier.”