LOS ANGELES, CA — In a stunning move to further bolster an already imposing starting lineup, the Los Angeles Dodgers announced shortly before Monday afternoon's trade deadline that the club had officially acquired Kal-El of Krypton.
Though the slugger, who has shown more power than any other person walking the face of the earth, was predicted to add even more pop to the Dodgers' batting order, the move served only to intensify the debate over competitive balance across Major League Baseball.
"We can't even pretend it's fair at this point," baseball analyst Buster Olney said after the deal was announced. "The Dodgers already had a strong lineup that can score a lot of runs. Now they're adding Kal-El of Krypton to the mix? Batting second, right behind Ohtani? That's ridiculous. I'm not sure that should even be allowed."
When asked about joining the Dodgers, Kal-El was refreshingly honest about the move. "It's a natural fit," he told reporters. "I'm the strongest being on the planet, so it makes sense that the Dodgers would eventually come calling. I'll always consider Metropolis my home away from home, but suiting up in Dodger Blue just seemed like a no-brainer. In addition to protecting humanity from all dangerous threats and helping the innocent, I'll now be focusing on bringing a third straight World Series to Los Angeles."
At publishing time, the Dodgers had announced that the club had also completed a deal to transport the 1927 New York Yankees from the past and add them to the roster.
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