Disney World Announces New 'The Chosen' Roller Coaster Which Goes Underground For 3 Days Before Rising Again
Christian Living · May 5, 2024 · BabylonBee.com

ORLANDO, FL — Walt Disney World has unveiled plans for its new The Chosen roller coaster, which will take riders underground for three days before rising again.

"We are thrilled to let fans experience The Chosen like never before," announced head of park operations Roger Smalls. "The ride will metaphorically strap people in the sandals of the apostles who walked alongside Jesus, then drop those people hundreds of feet into a cave for three days before emerging. It will be a thrill ride unlike any other."

The ride will begin at the edge of a water attraction that Disney has renamed the "Sea of Galilee", with The Chosen coaster adding new riders from entrances scattered along the shore every hundred yards. To add an element of realism, park workers will intermittently select the last person in line to become first to board the ride. The ride initially climbs four hundred feet up the "Mount of Olives", before an epic free fall takes the twelve riders subterranean for three entire days.

Disney immediately began construction on the project after acquiring rights to The Chosen, along with developing a line of merchandise. "We've already seen success with the new products, though admittedly the Judas Iscariot plushies have failed to catch on," said merchandise coordinator Shelby Lanning. "We expect the roller coaster's commemorative cups to be a real hit, they turn wine color when you put water in. It's going to be a huge launch."

At publishing time, Disney had reportedly announced an open casting call for the role of theme park Jesus.


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