NEW YORK CITY — With winter storms pounding the Northeast, black New Yorkers were sadly left unable to shovel their driveways as none of them have a government ID.
Thousands of black citizens stared helplessly at their cars buried in the snow, unauthorized by Mayor Zohran Mamdani to lift a shovel.
"If only I could get an ID," sighed local man Damon Jones. "We could be stuck here for days. Almost my entire neighborhood is black, so we're pretty much screwed. Why, oh why, did the Mayor have to make it so hard for black people to shovel snow?"
The NAACP has harshly condemned Mayor Mamdani's ID requirement for snow shovelers, stating that it unfairly targets black citizens. "Mamdani is literally burying black Americans in the whiteness of snow," said NAACP lawyer Alisha Jackson. "What does it say about our society when we will not even allow a black man to shovel his way out from under white oppression? Unable to acquire ID, he is left adrift in a veritable sea of white."
At publishing time, Jones had been arrested and charged with shoveling snow without a license.
Protect yourself from the modern day gestapo!
