WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following a major online dust-up between himself and Elon Musk this week, a depressed President Donald Trump asked First Lady Melania if she'd consider putting on a black MAGA baseball cap and "saying some space stuff to me."
The president seemed to miss his friendship with Musk, with whom he exchanged public barbs due to a disagreement over Trump's proposed "Big, Beautiful Bill."
"I know he's a little bit of a weirdo, Elon, but I do miss him," Trump commented. "I'm not saying I was wrong, I don't say that, but he did entertain me around here, and I miss all his space words, and I loved hearing about Diablo IV. I asked Melania to just put on that black baseball hat and say a few science-y things today to cheer me up."
Musk and Trump had a falling out this week as Musk left the administration to focus on his business entities. The nation looked on as the two exchanged threats and insults back and forth on social media, but when the dust settled, Trump found himself missing Musk.
"I asked Marco Rubio to try and talk some space stuff to me, but he just couldn't nail the South African accent," Trump lamented. "Melania does a surprisingly good Elon impression, but she said she feels weird walking around the Oval Office talking about rockets. That's fair."
At publishing time, Trump asked his staff if they'd all bring in their toddlers to work like Elon used to so he could once again hear the pitter-patter of little feet in halls of the Whitehouse.
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