WASHINGTON, D.C. — As Americans across the country continued to carry on their day-to-day lives without any significant changes, Democrats vowed to keep the federal government shut down until someone notices.
Sources on Capitol Hill said that, though congressional Democrats had grown frustrated by the fact that the country seemed to keep existing and flourishing despite the lack of involvement from the federal government, they remained committed to keeping the shutdown in effect until someone acknowledged it.
"Sooner or later, it's bound to have some type of effect," House Minority Leader and government shutdown architect Hakeem Jeffries said. "I know it's disappointing that everyone seems to just be going about their business and living their lives without us interfering in anything, but eventually somebody will surely notice that the government is shut down. Right? We just need to be patient."
When reached for comment, one American citizen was surprised to hear that the government was shut down. "Is it? Oh, I had no idea," said factory worker James Hartford. "I've had a great last couple of weeks. Maybe that's why?"
Democratic leaders were adamant that they would not budge until their shutdown was noticed by someone. "We know the federal government has to have more impact than it seems now," Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said. "They'll notice that we're not doing anything at some point, I think. The day will come when America simply won't be able to function without… wherever it is we do."
At publishing time, the vast majority of Americans in all parts of the nation remained blissfully unaware of and unaffected by the government shutdown.
Liberal Brynnleigh witnesses a communist utopia in action!
