NEW YORK, NY — Donald Trump's campaign fundraising is breaking records thanks to a lavish fundraiser hosted by Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg and the Democrat Party.
Sources say that as Trump arrived at a New York courthouse for the fundraiser this morning, his campaign raised millions from energized citizens eager to support the only presidential candidate indicted by a Soros-funded DA.
"At this point, if someone hasn't been indicted by a corrupt Soros DA, can you even trust that person?" said local Trump voter Bubba Gruggs, while clicking the "donate" button on the latest email from the Trump campaign.
Experts say that the Trump indictment will firm up his base of supporters who believe the country is run by corrupt, out-of-touch bureaucrats who also happen to be Satanic pedophiles and alienate him with kooky conspiracy theorists who think that America's leaders can be trusted.
At publishing time, it had been revealed that half the donations to the Trump campaign came from Democrat activists who are desperately hoping he runs again.
By now the whole internet has heard Ben Shapiro rapping, but did you know that there are actually two more verses they cut out of the track?