WASHINGTON, D.C. — Democrats disputed claims that China interfered in the 2020 U.S. election, declaring that they are perfectly capable of rigging elections without China's help.
In a passionate primetime address, President Donald Trump rebuked China for what he called the "largest compromise of election data in history" and called on lawmakers to pass legislation to secure future elections. This only served to offend Democrats, however, who insisted they are perfectly capable of rigging elections without any foreign assistance whatsoever.
"Trump wants you to believe Democrats are working with China to undermine election integrity," Senator Chuck Schumer said, responding to the president's accusations. "Nothing could be further from the truth. Why would I use China to rig an election when I can support election interference made right here in America?"
Democrats pointed to their support of automatic voter registration, vote by mail, and ballot harvesting as examples of their grassroots approach to election rigging. "We don't need China's help. We don't want China's help," Representative Rashida Tlaib said. "Although if any Muslim countries wanted to join in, I would welcome the collaboration."
Republican leaders were quick to condemn Democrats' bragging about how they've rigged elections in the past. "If only there was some kind of law we could make that would prevent rigging elections, like if we had required voter ID or something. I don't know, I'm just spitballing here," Senate Majority Leader John Thune said. "Some type of act that could save America. That's what we could use right now. Oh well."
At publishing time, Democrats assured the public that their party was already well on its way to rigging the 2026 midterms.
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