WASHINGTON, D.C. — The reign of terror perpetrated by the Trump administration looked to continue this week, with Democrats and Republicans alike going into panic as President Donald Trump looked to bring the world to the brink of peace.
Just over three weeks into his term, Trump reported that he had spoken to both Russian President Vladimir Putin and Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy to initiate negotiations and finally bring much-needed peace to the region, causing American politicians to sound the alarm.
"Our world is dangerously close to descending into all-out peace," warned Senator Chuck Schumer. "These measured and recklessly diplomatic moves by the Trump administration have brought us closer than we've ever been to a complete lack of large-scale bloodshed and amicable relations among all countries around the world. I've been unable to sleep at night due to the looming threat of peace."
Politicians across the aisle agreed that Trump's efforts have created an existential threat to the prospects of a world war. "We tried to warn the American people that this would happen," said Senator Lindsey Graham. "All of Trump's talk during his campaign about bringing an end to conflicts in Ukraine and the Middle East weren't just empty posturing. He's serious. He may actually get Putin and Zelenskyy to sign a peace agreement. My colleagues and I shudder to think what might result from that, and we're looking for ways to stop it."
At publishing time, Democrats and Republicans were reportedly in an emergency closed-door meeting to fast-track World War 3 before Trump could usher in a new era of peace and prosperity around the world.
Meet Devyn. The 16-year-old Chick-fil-A worker who has replaced the entire government.
