U.S. — With heated debate taking place across the country over President Donald Trump's initiative to carry out mass deportations of illegal aliens, Democrats found themselves once again concerned about who would be picking their crops.
Just as they did back in the 1860s, Democrats voiced opposition to any policy changes that would cause them to lose an overwhelming percentage of the staff they keep around to pick all of the produce in their fields.
"We already had to deal with this problem once, let's not do it again," said Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi. "Look, we all need brown people out in the fields picking crops. It's not easy to find people willing to do that job, so once you have them, you definitely want to keep them there by any means necessary. Chains, even. We used to do that. Then, those awful Republicans had to go and screw everything up. Now, they're trying to do it again."
Democrats feared yet another major setback in fully staffing their estates with crop pickers. "Our country simply can't function if we don't have someone to pick crops for us," Senator Chuck Schumer said. "Let's face it, cotton doesn't pick itself. There must be some solution to this problem that doesn't once again deprive us of our essential household staff. The next thing you know, Trump will be telling us we're not allowed to ‘own people' anymore. What type of a world would that be?"
At publishing time, Democrats had asked President Trump if they would be allowed to just ship illegal aliens back to the U.S. and purchase them at auction like in the old days.
An elite force from DOGE uncovers the most absurd waste of taxpayer dollars.
