WASHINGTON, D.C. — According to sources in the nation's capital, Senate Democrats have managed to delay their confirmation vote on Kash Patel one week, to give the FBI more time to finish shredding all their documents.
"There's a lot to shred," said one anonymous source. "It's just standard procedure. "We're, um, just making sure the place is nice and, um, clean for FBI Director Patel. We're really excited to meet him. We don't have anything to hide or anything, we just need another week or so. No big deal."
The FBI assured the public they'll have things cleaned up in no time.
At publishing time, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell responded to the delay by asking who Kash Patel was and slipping into another coma.
Flock cameras are causing everyone to freak out, so The Babylon Bee launched an investigation into Flock Safety to separate fact from fiction. Here is everything you need to know about Flock
