U.S. — The Democratic Party announced on Tuesday that U.S. citizens were not allowed to remember all those things the party said and did just a few years ago.
Eyeing a return to national power, several potential Democratic presidential nominees called on the nation to forget all those things they said about, for example, refusing medical care to the unvaccinated in hopes that they die a slow and painful death.
"You are only allowed to believe what we tell you now, not what we told you then," explained presidential hopeful Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "All that stuff about how people gathering to burn down cities was fine, but you couldn't see your dying grandmother in the hospital — we're just going to forget that, okay? Oh, and all that stuff about defunding the police, emptying the prisons, and turning all of the murderers loose on the streets. Oh yeah, and the FBI busting down doors to arrest Christians for praying at abortion clinics. And accusing everyone of genocide who didn't think we should mutilate the genitals of small children. You can't remember any of that stuff, starting... now. Thanks!"
Following the announcement, Democrats began to laugh at the patently insane idea of abolishing the entire prison system. "Haha! Defunding the police system. What a hilarious joke that is," said Governor Gavin Newsom. "No one in their right mind would think that sort of nonsense. Who even comes up with this stuff? Republicans, attacking a straw man like always, I suppose. Those dirty scoundrels."
At publishing time, Democrats had also added that no one was allowed to remember the existence of anyone named "Joe Biden."
The Babylon Bee finally exposes everything about the Jews in this documentary of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
