WASHINGTON, D.C. — After President Trump announced a million-dollar reward for anyone who reported voter fraud, Democrats unveiled a counteroffer of one million and one dollars to not report voter fraud.
Democrats stated that restoring Americans' confidence in election integrity was of paramount importance, promising to pay whatever it took to keep fraud from being uncovered.
"Donald Trump thinks he can put a price on the integrity of our elections," said Senator Chuck Schumer. "Well, he's right. But we are offering one dollar more if you will keep your yapper shut. Remember, snitches get stitches. Well, actually, they get a million bucks. But you can get even more for keeping quiet."
In addition to the extra dollar, Democrats said their offer would involve considerably less paperwork, since recipients would never have to file a police report, testify under oath, or spend months cooperating with some tedious investigation.
The announcement sparked immediate interest from several major news organizations, which asked whether they could be paid retroactively.
"We have not reported voter fraud hundreds of times," said CNN's Anderson Cooper. "This could be a massive financial windfall for us, which we could really use. Airport lounges don't pay what they used to."
At publishing time, Democrats had announced that applicants would need to present a valid photo ID to prevent anyone from fraudulently collecting the reward.
Tucker Carlson is just asking questions about World War 2. Why was it even fought? Was Hitler really such a bad guy? And why did Churchill never denounce the trans agenda?
