U.S. — In response to President Donald Trump‘s offer to give illegal immigrants $1000 in exchange for deporting themselves, Democrats are upping the ante with a lucrative deal of $1001 to stay in the United States.
Leaders in Congress are reportedly hoping illegals will jump at the chance to make one dollar more than Trump's measly offer of $1,000.
"Stay, please stay," said Pelosi, holding up a wad of bills. "We will offer criminal gang members and undocumented Americans as many taxpayer dollars as it takes. What about $1,002? $1,003? Don't go. Please."
Trump Admin officials have responded with a bid to top the Democrats' offer. "$1,000 is just a starting point," said Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem. "We can go higher. We can throw in some Little Caesars gift cards and Kohl's cash, too. Don't pass up this deal."
"We will outbid any Democrat, guaranteed."
Democrats then responded to Trump's latest bid, calling it "racist."
At publishing time, thousands of immigrants had taken the cash and self-deported, eagerly awaiting the chance to come back in once a Democrat gets elected.
The USA undeniably trumps our neighbors to the north.
