U.S. — As an added safety measure to prevent further runway catastrophes, Delta Airlines has added a little hanging tennis ball to the end of runways to help female pilots.
After multiple recent incidents of female pilots struggling to figure out exactly when a runway begins and ends, Delta decided to begin positioning cranes to hang tennis balls from a string at the end of each runway.
"A tennis ball on a string is the most trusted technique in the world to keep women from wrecking," explained Delta CEO Ed Bastian. "Millions of women have been stopped from smashing their cars into the garage wall by husbands graciously hanging up a tennis ball. We are excited to bring this tried-and-true technology to Delta Airlines to hopefully keep our female pilots from wrecking any more planes."
According to airport personnel, the tennis ball on a string has already prevented over a dozen crashes by female pilots. "Now, if we can just get those lady pilots to stop checking their makeup and focus on the instrument panel," said air traffic controller Bob Rendon. "Hang on a minute, got a girl pilot coming in hot -- stop when you touch the tennis ball, I repeat, brake for the tennis ball!"
At publishing time, a female pilot in Toronto had called her husband to say she might have gotten a slight scratch on her plane.
Meet Devyn. The 16-year-old Chick-fil-A worker who has replaced the entire government.
