NEW YORK CITY — After suffering a shocking defeat to a previously little-known socialist, former governor Andrew Cuomo was left groping for answers as to where it all went wrong.
Cuomo reportedly gathered his advisors close together so he could really get a good feel of what happened.
"I'm looking for answers, trying to really get my hands on it," said a dejected Cuomo. "It's a tough loss. We're going to go back to the drawing board and touch on every little thing we did until we feel like we've gotten inside the problem."
Cuomo reportedly felt that a few strategic mistakes along the way could have ultimately made the difference in the election. "Socialism is like a dangerous virus, you've got to isolate it and stamp it out," said Cuomo. "Unfortunately, we put people with that disease in close quarters to each other, let it spread, and lied to ourselves about how bad it was."
At publishing time, Cuomo had vowed to paw and grasp his way back into the mayoral general election race.
Senator Mitch McConnell isn't doing too many interviews these days, but The Babylon Bee's Travis got the opportunity to sit down with the man, the myth, and the legend himself.
