INDIANAPOLIS, IN — Pro Dad and savvy world traveler Chip Dunnings is taking his family on vacation, and to avoid missing the flight, has made sure the family shows up packed and ready to go before the airport is even built.
"It's important to show up good and early, just to be safe," said Dunnings as he zipped up his fanny pack and directed his kids to bring all their things out to the car. "Honey! Hurry up! Construction on the new IND West Terminal is slated to start any day now! Why isn't everything packed already?"
Mr. Dunnings then sped things up using his preferred method of walking through the house loudly clapping while yelling "LET'S GO! LET'S GO! LET'S GO!"
Sources say the family arrived at the future site of West Terminal just in time to see several bulldozers start up to prepare the land for construction.
"Ah! Nothing like getting here good and early, eh, kids? Beautiful weather, fresh air, and no chance of missing this flight!"
At publishing time, Mr. Dunnings had turned to his wife and asked her if she remembered to pack 17 months' worth of food.
In this instructional video, Chinese soldiers are trained how to shout the wrong pronouns at American forces: