MONROE, MI - According to sources, local conservative Cameron Bumgard is having difficulty getting traction on Twitter, although it's currently unclear whether this is because of Leftist shadowbanning or because his tweets just suck.
"I don't get it," said Bumgard to reporters. "I've been on this platform for years but only have 13 followers. I must be shadowbanned. Or maybe I'm bad at this? I'm not sure."
Sources say Bumgard has only gained one follower in the last 8 months in spite of tweets he claims are "straight fire" such as these:
- "OBUMMER and the DEMONCRATS takeing away th second MENDMENT! RISE UP PATRIOTS!"
- We have to many emigrants entering our country
- Today I am destroying my Keurig to teach them a lesson about getting political
- Global warming??? It feels pretty cold here! Hoax!
- Use my code EAGLEFLY to get 30% off at MyPillow!
- Well then I guess my pronouns are FED/UP! 
- Elon Musk I have a great idea for your tunnels t make them beter plaese DM me
- Rachel Levine is the MAN OF THE YEAR!
In spite of a continuous stream of high-quality content, Bumgard's follower count remains stagnant. He's hoping to get his social media influence back on track by just writing angry replies to other people's tweets.
At publishing time, Bumgard reported that Elon Musk's purchase of Twitter opened the floodgates, bringing him 3 brand new followers.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
