Church Chair Stacking Event Added To Summer Olympics
Sports · Mar 18, 2020 · BabylonBee.com

TOKYO - By popular demand, official Church Chair Stacking events have been added to the 2020 Tokyo Olympic games.

Churches around the world are sending their very best chair stackers to test their speed, strength, and humility in the Games this July. Church chair stacking is a national pastime, growing in popularity as more and more churches meet in rented elementary schools and community centers. Regional and national chair stacking contests draw crowds by the thousands, and now, finally, it's being recognized as an Olympic sport.

"We welcome contestants from around the world to come and see how well their chair stacking skills, well, stack up against the competition," said an event organizer. "From setting chairs up before service to tearing them down, we can't wait for viewers all across the globe to enjoy a world-class chair stacking competition like no other."

Events include the following:

  • The 500-chair speed stack
  • 250-chair stacking relay
  • How many chairs can you carry at once strength contest
  • Freestyle chair stacking
  • Finding seats for the 9-person family that showed up 15 minutes late
  • Restocking the pew pencils
  • Carrying a bunch of chairs and trying to hide how much effort it's taking you

Should the events prove popular, more usher-centric games like offering plate relays and communion element passing contests will be introduced next year.


Ready to join the conversation? Subscribe today.

Access comments and our fully-featured social platform.

Sign up Now

You must signup or login to view or post comments on this article.