Church Board Approves Historic $50 Increase In Seniors Ministry Budget
Church · Mar 7, 2017 · BabylonBee.com

ALBANY, GA - The church leadership board at Bethlehem Grace Church announced Tuesday they had approved a historic $50 increase in the Seniors Ministry's annual budget, the measure narrowly passing with a vote of 5-4.

The increase brings the total budget allocated for the church's ministry to senior adults to a record high of $250.

"We believe that ministry to 'more experienced' believers is absolutely vital in the life of the church," pastor Gary Dearden told reporters. "That's why we really pushed this massive increase in spending through this year."

Pastor to seniors Bill Canton was pleased with the vote. "We were thinking of running an extra bingo night or two this year, and now we've got the capital to make it happen," he said in a statement.

Canton further stated that the seniors ministry would look at sponsoring a 5 a.m. traditional Sunday service as well as a big summer trip to Dairy Queen.

"It'll be the highlight of the year," Canton said.

At publishing time, the entire senior ministry budget had been spent on brand-new Yamaha WaveRunners for the youth ministry, sources confirmed.

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