DES MOINES, IA — Christians in Iowa and across the nation are outraged after a Democrat statue was unveiled at the state's Capitol Building.
"I believe in freedom of speech and religion, but this just goes too far," said Gov. Kim Reynolds to reporters. "Sick, disturbing, Democrat displays have no place in the house where state laws are passed. I'm horrified."
Sources say a local Democrat non-profit is responsible for the frightening statue, which they say is a true representation of everything Democrats proudly stand for. "We have a right to express our Democratic views," said a spokesperson for the group. "We will not be intimidated into removing our altar or our severed goat head from government buildings. This is America!"
The rest of the statement was not recorded, as the spokesperson's eyes rolled back into his head and he began uttering an ancient incantation in a dead eldritch tongue.
Respected Christian thought leader Phil Vischer was quick to defend the statue. "This artistic rendering of Democrat values represents everything beautiful about America," said Vischer. "If you object to this or express any concern whatsoever, you are a dangerous Christian Nationalist who worships political power."
At publishing time, Iowa Republican legislators calmed their frustrated constituents by setting up a golden statue of Trump in the Capitol.
Visit California, and get a little glimpse into the future of any socialist nation!
