VATICAN — Ash Wednesday in 2025 was the most inclusive ever, say Vatican officials, thanks to the introduction of new white ashes for black people.
"Now, at long last, black people can take selfies of themselves with ash on their foreheads," said Archbishop Riono Fisichella. "Which is what repentance is all about."
Fisichella, who previously worked on the creation of Luce, the Vatican's first anime mascot, reportedly worked tirelessly with Italian scientists to develop the perfect shade of white ash for black Catholics.
"Ash Wednesday is a time to come together and have ash smeared on your forehead so you can show off your repentance to other people. But black people couldn't do that because the ash would blend in with their skin," Fisichella said. "I've long enjoyed the privilege of looking holy on Ash Wednesday, and now blacks can too."
The ashes for Ash Wednesday typically come from the burning of palm fronds used in Palm Sunday celebrations from the previous year. However, these make a distinctly grayish-black ash that cannot be seen on black people. This causes whites and other light-skinned ethnicities to appear repentant on Ash Wednesday while black people look like they don't care at all.
However, despite the hard work of the church, not everyone is convinced it was worth the time and effort. "I kind of liked that no one could see it," said Tom Warren, an actual black person. "I thought we weren't supposed to show off when we fasted anyway."
The new white ashes will be distributed throughout the dioceses in 2025.
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