WASHINGTON, D.C.—A group of cartel members presented Joe Biden with its prestigious "Human Trafficker of the Month" award today, marking the third month in a row the new president has received the award.
Democrat presidents are constant recipients of the honor, usually winning the award many dozens of times throughout their time in office, and Biden appears to be no exception so far. The award honors an individual who does a great job at ensuring that thousands more children and vulnerable Central American and Mexican residents will be smuggled across the border each and every day. The cartel cited Biden's immigration policies and disastrous handling of the border crisis as key factors in their decision to give the award to him once again.
"El Presidente Biden es muy bueno!" said one narco as he handed Biden the plaque. "We thank you, Mr. President, for your lax border policies and promises of free money for migrants that are allowing us to smuggle them across the border in record numbers. You are truly a friend to the cartel." The drug kingpin then pulled out his revolver and fired it into the air, a custom that represents bestowing honor and praise upon an individual in the cartel community -- usually reserved for drug dealers who have an exceptionally good month.
Biden thanked them for the award and then got his phone out to play "Despacito" in their honor.