U.S. - After defeating Canada at the only thing it was supposedly good at, the entire territory of Canada has been officially declared an American province.
"And to be clear, you're just a province. Being a state is for winners," announced President Trump. "We took you over and all we lost were a few teeth. This is so embarrassing for you."
At publishing time, Canada had admitted defeat and euthanized the national hockey team.
Behold! Woke Jesus is teaching when the Pharisees bring to him a woman caught in adultery. Listen and learn from this cherished Bible story about how Woke Jesus turned to intersectionality.
