PYONGYANG — A group of oppressed people arrived in a new land in hopes of making a better life for themselves, as a boat filled with British refugees traveled to North Korea in search of freedom.
Witnesses said that the poor, huddled mass of humanity emerged from the vessel battered and downtrodden, hoping to experience a new life of liberty by migrating to the less-totalitarian regime of Kim Jong Un's North Korea.
"I already feel less oppressed," said Reginald Hardington, a native of London who set off for North Korea to create a better life for his family. "From what I've heard, if you're being assaulted in North Korea, you're allowed to defend yourself! Can you believe that? And hardly anyone gets stabbed here. What a great place to live!"
The embattled British refugees told tales of terrible suffering and persecution in their country of origin, which led them to flee the cruelty of their homeland for the brighter future available to them in North Korea. "We finally have hope for tomorrow," said Matilda Bedfordshire. "Where we come from, you can get arrested just for thinking the wrong thing. When we looked at North Korea, we saw a much more open and free society. This is the type of independence we hope Great Britain will experience someday."
The migrants from the UK were reportedly also overjoyed to discover that North Korean food was far more flavorful and enjoyable than any meal they had ever tasted.
At publishing time, the British refugees said they hoped to be granted permanent asylum in North Korea so they wouldn't have to worry about going back to a harsh life in England.
Tony asks questions about everything in his life. Is he a crazy conspiracy theorist?
