HARRISBURG, PA - Pennsylvania's favorite pro-abortion legislator, Brian Sims, wanted to show he was tough. While most guys would join a local MMA club or luchador circuit, Sims isn't most guys. He had a much better idea. Sims wandered into a local Catholic church and challenged a group of singing nuns to a fistfight over the issue of abortion.

"Hey nuns, come on down here and fight me if you want to show abortion is bad!" he called out, adding several slurs and expletives to his courageous speech. "Yeah, that's what I thought! Chicken, eh? Probably hateful Chick-fil-A chicken too, and not woke chicken like Popeye's!"

Several nuns were about ready to perform a double reverse elbow-drop on him from the rafters, but a priest stopped them, according to witnesses.

"Oh, I see, running away, eh? You yellow [expletive]! I'll punch your face off with my bravery!" he cried as he slowly backed away.

At publishing time, Sims had hastily moved along when someone his own size showed up to accept his challenge.