WASHINGTON, D.C.—A bombshell report coming out of the impeachment proceedings has revealed that Trump may have been mooching off Mike Pence's Netflix account his entire time in office.
A whistleblower revealed that Trump simply asked Pence for his password and has been bumming off Pence instead of spending the $13 a month himself. Pence's password was reportedly "jesus1."
"This is clearly an impeachable offense," said an unbiased constitutional scholar working at the Destroy Donald Trump Foundation, testifying before the House Judiciary Committee. "Trump has offered Pence a clear quid pro quo, granting him the VP role in exchange for access to Stranger Things, Breaking Bad, and The Office."
"Impeach! Impeach! Impeach!" the crowd chanted.
Trump shrugged and said, "Impeachment? Whatever. Stop bugging me, Parks & Rec is on. I don't like this Leslie Knope character. Very bad politician! Not good! But Ron and Andy and the gang are a fun bunch. Even the foreigner. All great people, maybe the best."
Breaking: Paypal Now Available
Many of you told us you wouldn't subscribe until we offered Paypal as a payment option. You apparently weren't bluffing, so we finally caved and added Paypal. Now — like the unbeliever faced with God's invisible qualities displayed in nature — you are without excuse.