U.S. — A Bible application for mobile devices was blacklisted by members of several evangelical denominations after its developer claimed to release a new "update" for the King James Version.
Despite being perfect and complete all the way back in 1611, the King James translation of the Bible received a fresh update via the YouVersion Bible app to improve speed and readability for users, a move seen as largely heretical.
"BLASPHEMY!" said Edmond Carter, a pastor at an Independent Fundamental Baptist Church in Little Rock, AR. "I was right! Phones are the antichrist! Quick! Everyone, burn your phones!"
According to fringe theologians, the King James Bible is the only divinely inspired translation, and attempting to update it in any way whatsoever is anathema and an unforgivable sin.
"You're trying to tell me a perfect translation preserved by God needs an update? God doesn't make mistakes! My father was right about these devil phones. Get behind thee, Satan!" Mary Hamilton, an Anabaptist from Pennsylvania, said as she threw her phone off a bridge.
According to YouVersion, updates to all translations are standard. "It doesn't mean we're changing the text, just organizing the layout or getting rid of a glitch on our end," clarified YouVersion President Greg Richman. "We're not directly changing anything, just improving the user experience."
The explanation from YouVersion and other Bible apps about the apparent translation updates was ill-received, however, as many users decided to delete their Bible apps just to be safe.
"I don't know... sounds like blasphemy to me," said Wilson Hedgemond, a member of a Primitive Baptist Church in Burnet, TX. "Also, may I say that I hope they burn in Hell."
At publishing time, members of Burnet's Primitive Baptist Church disfellowshipped from Wilson Hedgemond for continuing to own a phone.
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