LOS ANGELES, CA — Reports from the historic Zoom call "White Women: Answer the Call" for Kamala Harris indicate that black men all across America were listening intently, waiting for liberal white women to instruct them on who to vote for.
In a speech that moved many on the call to tears, Tiktok influencer and liberal white woman Arielle Fodor used the "gentle parenting method" to helpfully tell black men who they should support in the upcoming election.
"I used to think that I was a responsible voter, able to make decisions about policy and candidates for myself, but then Arielle completely opened my eyes," recalled local black guy Darius Watson, who had been listening closely to Arielle's impassioned speech telling black men why they needed to stop thinking for themselves and follow the opinions of liberal white women. "I'm so thankful for the white wisdom of women like Arielle. Without her, I wouldn't know what to do."
Arielle Fodor has been praised by several news outlets for her efforts to end racism once and for all by teaching black men how to think and what to do at all times.
"It's really simple," Fodor said when asked for comment. "If you don't vote like me, a liberal white woman, then maybe you aren't even black."
At publishing time, Fodor had confirmed another upcoming Zoom call event in which she would instruct white men to kill themselves.
Citing concerns about stiff competition from Amazon and an impossible-to-please Gen Z, Santa has announced he's hanging up the hat for good.
