U.S. - Big tech companies like Facebook and Twitter have successfully prevented other parties from interfering in the United States' upcoming presidential election by interfering in the election themselves.

From nagging people to vote and curating their own election information as the only source of legitimate voting information for their users to squashing stories that would hurt the candidates they like and locking out conservatives from their social media accounts, big tech companies are working hard to ensure that they're the only ones who are allowed to influence the election results this year.

"In order to make sure no one interferes in the election, we will be interfering in the election," said Mark Zuckerberg. "It's the only way to make sure nobody can meddle in the election this time around."

"Election interference? Not on our watch," said Twitter CEO Jack Dorsey. "Well, I mean, our election interference, yes. But not the other guy's. Only approved election interference will be accepted on our platforms."

Just then, Dorsey's phone rang.

"Oh, hey, Joe!" he said. "Yeah, we squashed the story for you. No prob. Yeah, we got you, fam!"